In just ten months, we’ve developed a friendship that was long lasting.
I think the first line already hints that this will be a post that is a little bit on the emotional side. Teehee! Yes na oi!
It has been said that we’re a clingy bunch and I find it often annoying that people see this as something irrational, that a group of people can be so bonded in just a short amount of time. No, it isn’t. If you were in the room with them, you’d know why. We’re individuals who just happen to work well together. We clicked. We’re blessed. Granted we sometimes bang heads but in law school, that’s normal. Haha! Move on na lang oi! Let it go! Let it gooooo! Haha! It’s never boring when you’re with them, there are surprises and there are bullying moments. Pero sabi nga nila, bullying is a form of affection. Haha!
I’m honoured to have served you, my dear classmates. I know I have my shortcomings and I know that there are times medjo dragon mode nako and I become irritable and maldita, sorry po! I apologize for all of that. I hope the efforts exerted by the Viada officers made your law school life a bit easier. Hehe!
Next, the dreaded question.
“Ma retain kaya ko?” Ah, this keeps taunting us. Let me just address the harsh truth because in doing so, we find out that we’re not alone in this endeavour. There’s a certain feeling of comfort in knowing you’re not alone in the struggle, right?
We want to know if all the efforts we exerted will be enough for us to make it. All I can say is I HOPE WE ALL MAKE IT. Salig lang jud ta guys. I hope Viada will still be intact and if not, I hope we keep the friendships we have made. Always find the silver lining, guys. It isn’t the end, there is still more to come.
Anyway, I have rambled on so I’ll just finish this before I go astray.
In the midst of recitations, exams, study outs, class discussions, karaoke sessions and other kabuangs, I learned that sometimes, it’s the people you’re with that lets the challenges be less of a struggle and the failures more bearable. They’re the silver lining that make things all better and for that, I’m thankful.
I won’t say goodbye because there is a notion that we won’t see each other again and I abhor that notion. I’ll just say, “till next time” because I’m sure as hell, it may not be anytime soon, but we’ll surely see each other again.
Till next time, Viada!
Your President, signing off.
Hi! It was like the UPCAT exam. Just a little bit of Law in it. Then there is also the essay. They give you some topics and you have to write something about it. :]
The month hasn’t ended yet but a lot of things have happened, things I never thought would happen. It was sort of surreal, kind of like serendipity. It just happened when I wasn’t even looking for it. I had fun and for the first time in a long ass time, I felt appreciated and yes, there are a lot of kilig vibes. I didn’t expect it but that fact that it happened made me happy.
Despite the abundance of “kilig” moments, right now, when it’s time to be serious and get my head back in the game, I need to distance myself. I need to get back to being serious and just press pause on these moments. I need to put back that “civility” between us. Mahirap na pag na involved ang feelings.
As my motto goes… STUDY NOW, LOVE LATER. I promised myself I’d stand by that. It might prove to be difficult but I’ll stand by that.
I’ve never been one to put malice when I do something affectionate to a friend. It’s like my endearment. I like to give hugs and I like to get hugs. Like a quote I read somewhere, and I’m totally paraphrasing, a hug is like being encased in comfort, safety and love and it’s something you can freely give.
Today, seeing that the weather was totally freezing our asses off, added with the two air conditioning systems fired up (WTH), I was in a mood to give/get hugs. I’ve been doing this since my classmates and I have grown close, the point where I’ve thought of them as brothers and sisters (and sometimes as my kids when I go “president” mode on them). So yeah, I guess it’s something I’m comfortable with. I even beso my classmates, yes, guys included. And no, no malice. I mean, we’re all grown up here and we’re in law school, a professional school, I think it’s time that we stop being close-minded and shit.
If a classmate and I hug, there is nothing more to that than a way of saying “hi” or maybe “i miss you” at most (we get clingy when we’ve been apart during breaks). It’s a hug. It’s not like we’re going at it right then and there. No malice (I’ve repeated this a lot, huh? I’ll explain why soon). It’s purely on a friendly level.
So what if we hugged? Yes, I’m aware of his “damoves” and I’m aware that you have a thing for him (obvious kaya the way you reacted in fb and the names you called me). To me, it was a friendly gesture, an endearment. If it was different to him then that’s his problem as well as if it’s different to you then that’s YOUR problem.
I’m trying to not assume things because they just lead to disappointments (famous quote somewhere).
Do not ruin my name just because I’m good friends with the person you’re crazy about (yes, it’s that obvious, sweetie).
I know it’s quite weird that it took me three days since 2014 began to actually realize these things. I’ve been busy. I’m going back to my place in the city tomorrow and I’ll need to get back to the swing of things, law school and all.
Anyway, 2013 has taught me a lot of things that might sound cliche but it did happen. It just happened like a puzzle falling in to the right place.
I realized that despite the distance, if you try hard enough, a friendship can be maintained. Facebook, texting and skype is there to make all communication possible. I’ve kept in touch with Nobodies and some of my classmates. I occasionally talk to them via Facebook and I ask them how they’re doing. Just a simple “hi” or a “how are you?” can get the ball rolling. With this, I also realized that you are bound to lose certain people, some that you weren’t close with before and some who were close to you. It’s a learning process and it’s when you know that a person came in to your life for a purpose. I think I’m the cheesy one out of all the bunch of my batchmates, I’m the one that constantly posts about how I miss them and everything. My goodness, my TBT posts for 2013 probably was 90% of my college friends.
It was also a year where I started reconnecting with my high school friends and friends from the states. Although we’re not as connected as we were before but I’m still grateful that they took the time to check up on me and congratulate me and I, in return, blessed to have the time to reply to them.
Another realization that I’ve had in 2013 was that I am old, not in the way that I hate loud music old but old in a sense that I became more aware of what is around me. I’ve come to a point sometimes that I’d scold someone for having a bad attitude. Also, I’ve learned how to give advice to someone who needs it. I mean, I used to do it before but sometimes I think it was just BS I got from movies but last year, it was like there was something in it. It was like I was putting my heart in the advice that I gave. I became more worldly and conscious about other people’s feelings. I still enjoy Disney cartoons, Justin Bieber (SOMETIMES) and other teen stuff but often times, my adult self takes over. I guess you could say, 2013 was the time I’ve honed my maturity and used it to help others.
Okay, another one is that I became courageous and confident. I became more outspoken and I would not take a person’s crap if I could sense that they were bullshitting me. I believed in myself and when I was given the chance, I’d help someone to accept who they are and be happy with what they have. I became brave and tried new things (hintLawSchoolhint). I had times when I stood up for what I believed in and if I was defeated, at least I got a chance to express what I say. Most of all, I guess this is where the confident “factor” really matters most to me, despite my weight and appearance, I had the confidence to carry myself and not give a damn about what people say. I know that the way I am right now, physically, is not what society’s concept of beauty is and I’m okay with that. I like how I look and if someone tried to change me (and trust me, there has been numerous times of classmates, relatives and even my mother, bullying me and teasing me), I still kept my head up.
I learned to accept failure too in 2013. Law school taught me that despite graduating Cum Laude in college, it isn’t a guarantee that you will excel, or even pass, law school. I’ve failed more times than I can remember and my future in law school is uncertain but I’m not giving it up. I will try. No matter how many times I fail, I will still keep trying. I admit, it was a little hard to accept my failures but in due time, I realized that these are lessons and I need to learn from them. Some lessons I don’t understand now, like I don’t know why they happened, but I believe that in due time, I will understand them.
And I guess, as cheesy and OA as this sounds, I learned that there are actually boys (clam down, just 2 guys that I know and made their feelings known) that like me for who I am. Being out of the loop in the relationship thing for awhile has left me quite “dead” to feelings. I mean, I like someone and all that but I’d never actually thought that the person that I like actually likes me back. Thus, I don’t know how to act when there is that whole “mutual understanding” crap. Right now, I’m still confused about it and I’d rather dismiss the thought but who knows? Maybe 2014 is the time I get into a relationship…but I’m not betting my money on it. Hehe!
Anyway, I guess those are the things that I’ve learned/realized/become in 2013 and I’d like to say au revoir.
Now, bonjour 2014! I do hope that I’ll continue to grow as a person this year and discover things about myself that are actually still hidden. I feel like there is still something that I can offer to the world and I can’t wait to share it. I shall embrace 2014 no matter what! God bless!